What do you do when your love life has become a Drake song? I don’t mean the kind where you’re about being single, seeing double and making triple. And Lord knows I’m still at the bottom and couldn’t even locate “Here” on a map. I’m talking about the songs where you’ve locked yourself in a room belonging to an R&B legend and proceed to drunk-dial your ex. The songs where Jhene Aiko’s angelic voice floats on the chorus and you remember that July has come and gone and you’re experiencing the coldest winter ever (no Sistah Souljah).
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a little hormonal and, therefore, like a water balloon: bloated and leaking water from my face. Crying all night and drinking all summer has left me dehydrated and exhausted. Is it karma for my less than considerate behavior in my past? Meeting guys that are good for me but finding trivial reasons to push them away is habitual, but can anyone let me know just how long is too long to wait before all the good ones go? I chase after toxic men. C’mon, Noelle, you can do better. I don’t believe that we live in a generation of not being in love because it seems like everyone else around me is, which could only mean that I’m doing it wrong.
I could be forcing things. I just ranted about not being ready for marriage in my last post right? I may not be sure if I’m ready for that kind of commitment, but I know I’d like to meet someone I feel butterflies for and have no second thoughts about being with. I was in love two years ago. But, sadly, I got stuck with the baggage while he’s jet setting with his new girl and all of his friends.
No new friends and no new loves. I’m not sure what I’m looking for but I’m sure I haven’t found it. Is my love life finished? Am I avoiding commitment? I’m just trying to find a reason not to go out every evening (besides being broke or having cramps). Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no make up on type of evenings with someone I wouldn’t mind sharing the last slice with. Or my heart. I’m a good girl and I know it but it doesn’t seem to do me many favors. “Too many times I’ve been wrong. I guess being right takes too long. I’m done waiting..”
So what do you do when your love life has become a Drake song?