Live From the Hosiery Department: Week One

My first week as a retail employee has come to a close.  First, let me begin by saying that I have a newfound respect for those of you out there that work in retail or that have jobs where you must stand up and be on your feet for hours.  I applaud you and now share your pain. 

This is my first retail job and going from customer to sales rep is a bit trippy.  In my first week, the concept of “SELL!  SELL!  SELL!” has been constantly drilled into my head.  It felt like I was sitting in on a conversation while somebody was talking shit about me without knowing I was there.  Is this how customers look to people that work in retail?  Am I a dollar sign in the eyes of every salesperson that sees me walk through the double doors of their store?  Of course many people are getting paid off of commission and so your money does affect their income, but I can’t help but to feel like a slab of meat being dangled in front of a pack of salivating hyenas.  And now I am a hyena, only I think I may be a vegetarian.  I hate to be harassed or feel like I’m being persuaded into a purchase that I do not sincerely want to make but now I’m required to schmooze little old ladies into buying 5 pairs of the same stockings for what I feel to be ridiculous amounts of cash.

Realistically, my store is meant to draw in the customers that have that extra stack of cash to blow on frivolous items that us commoners would never.  But that doesn’t stop me from feeling a twinge of guilt every time I swipe one of their credit cards and watch them sign away 200+ dollars just for a pair of Spanx.  But I guess if you’ve got it like that….

Aside from having to drown out my conscience when pushing embellished tights and organic socks, my job isn’t half bad.  I do enjoy the feeling of knowing that I have some sort of money coming in.  I don’t plan on making this a permanent career choice, but it sure as hell beats sitting at home all day eating everything in sight and lying to my mother about my level of productivity.  I also hope that this job can serve as a means of inspiration for a couple of funny stories and lessons about human behavior.  There is nothing like watching the 1%ers in their natural habitats.  This is also an opportunity to work on my people skills.  A writer must live many lives and I think having various occupations helps in that department.

So here’s to week one being a success and to taking every experience and turning it into something worth writing about.  

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