Don’t Ask

So here you are. You’ve met a person that you’re kind of into. (S)he’s cute, has a great personality, you seem to vibe well and now the “getting to know you” phase is underway. So you ask each other questions like “what’s your favorite pizza topping?” and “did you hate/love Yeezus as much as I did?” You know, the important stuff.
This part of the dating process is sort of fun for me. I enjoy getting answers that spark conversation and playful debates. And who doesn’t like talking about herself a little bit when it’s time for some Q&A? But there’s the one question that always comes up that I absolutely hate being asked. “So, why are you single?”
This topic always comes up when I’m in the middle of being quizzed about myself. Sometimes it’s straight forward while other times it comes in the guise of a compliment. The whole “you’re so (insert compliment here). I can’t believe you’re single. Why is that?” bit. I hate it. Don’t ask me that.
For starters, I don’t even have an answer to that question my damn self. Nigga, I just don’t know! But for others that do know, it could be a number of things such as “I’m focusing on my career right now”. Or shes only single because the love of her life has left her high and dry and so she’s been forced back into the dating world reluctantly and you just happened to be there.
I get the curiosity and that you might be able to dodge a bullet by asking certain questions. When you think a person fits into your personal brand of perfection but isn’t spoken for, you start to wonder what’s wrong with this person. If (s)he’s so great, why is (s)he alone? She could be single because she’s killed every man she’s slept with and you might be next. In that case, you should definitely ask and definitely call the authorities and run. But what if she’s not a black widow serial killer? What if she’s single just because she’s single? And furthermore, why are YOU single? Does it matter? We like each other right? So why does it matter why we have been lucky enough to meet one another and get to know each other?
Like I’ve said before, I never have answer to that question. Maybe it’s because the answer seems to change everyday. Maybe it’s because there is no answer at all. Maybe a higher power is saving me for Michael B. Jordan or something (and if that’s is the case, I will wait as long as I have to, God). But no matter what, it always leads me down this path of self doubt. I find myself thinking Well yeah, if I am so great, why am I single? Maybe I’m not as great as I thought. Which is hogwash because I know I’m a pretty cool person to know and have around. But when you’re asked enough and in a way that makes it sound like something isn’t adding up, you start to question if your confidence is a little misplaced.
So please, just don’t ask. I’m single, you’re single (at least hope so. But with my luck…). Let’s just keep talking about Batman being totally better than Superman and how turkey bacon is a crime against humanity. Just promise me that you’re not a stalker and I won’t ask either.

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