Another One Bites The Dust

It seems that I cannot keep a job for long. No, I haven’t been fired again. But, I’m typing this from a desk at my current place of employment, fighting the urge to walk into the HR office and scream, “I QUIT!” What I thought would be a job that would serve as a step in the right direction when I comes to having a career in a field that I love, has turned into a pain in my ass. I accepted this job with good faith in those that hired me when I should have heeded the warnings of members of the community that advised against me applying for a job here in the first place.
What bothers me most about this institution is the level of unprofessionalism that administrators show. On Monday, hours were cut for certain employees and those employees weren’t notified until a couple hours before they had to report for work. How professional is it to call someone 20 minutes before (s)he has to leave his/her home to inform him/her about something like that? How about taking into consideration that these things affect people’s lives. Our pay checks are fucking comical yet it’s a well known precaution to wait a day before depositing them into our accounts because they might bounce. UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!
I love the children I work with but love isn’t paying bills or student loans. Everyday I try not to cry just thinking about the financial hole I’ve dug for myself for the sake of getting a college education and to just not use the stupid piece of paper sitting in a bin in my bedroom. My mother’s constant lectures that she tries to disguise as pep talks do little to comfort me either.
So here I am, a depressed postgraduate, dodging Sallie Mae phone calls like bullets and drinking more than what is healthy. A month ago I was optimistic about things but the dark clouds have rolled the fuck in and there is no sign of sunshine in sight. I’ve traveled to work too many times, despite my urge to call out, only to find out that each child that I was supposed to work with that day had been sent home early. And when there’s no children, I don’t get paid. It’s time to move on.

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